"So... are you saying that I'm pretty?"

Oooooooooooooh my god. Gay boys are THE best dancers ever. Especially when they're dancing together ;). Okay, so... Where to begin? I just got back from a GLBT Dance that was held in my community and it was rather small, about 25 people showed up. I, being the social butterfly that I am, talked to most of the people there, but really just hung out with this one girl (who's straight, but has done curious *things* with other straight girls) who is totally out there. Meaning, she's into sex on a serious level. And she loves it. I've never met someone who's actually talked about their sex life, yet not *really* talk about it (in-depth). But I did learn a lot about her and she's just really awesome and nice. She's a lot like the girl that you know is a bit dangerous, but you just can't stray away from. Plus she's pretty cute... and taller than me! Who knew that was possible? Plus, she knows a girl from my school... which is uncanny, but not really :-/.

In any case, I have emailed Slo of the SloGreenX Podcast about using objects as sex toys and what to use. At one point Girl and I were talking about masturbation and she said that I could just go to Spencer's and that'd she'd buy me one :). Yessss! I have a source now! And! She has a pocket full of condoms, and showed me the difference between a Japanese condom (which is smaller) and a regular one. The results were way different. She's a sex educator apparently and does volunteer work for the NVAM (Northern Virginia Aids Ministry). I'm done talking about her... But on a final note, we exchanged numbers :D.

Oh! And so I got somehow complimented at this dance. A MTF (Male To Female), girl, and gay guy came up to me and told me that they had a friend who looked like me, only uglier, and that I look like her if she had plastic surgery... I know, confusing. But to me, hearing over the blaring music, it sounded like "You look like a man that doesn't have good features, but you do." Which didn't help. So I just blatantly asked, "So... are you saying that I'm pretty?" and they said yes. Then! The one girl was dancing and came up to me and was giving me a lap dance. I was just... stunned. She just said "I don't know what made me do that..." and went away. Mmhmm. Also, I think the Prez of the GSA likes me.. this guy kept pushing her towards me and such. Ugh.

But I just love the gays :). And the supporters. I really liked it when a mom came in and talked to this guy (who was dancing with this other guy all dirty-like. I don't know what's with two guys dancing. It's different from the generic boy-girl dirty-dancing. It's passionate.) about how her son just came out. It was sooo sweet.

Annnnnndddd! I learned how to dance to Cotton-Eyed Joe. I pirate that dances like an irishman, who knew?

I shall write more about this fabulous night some other time.

Just Got Back From The ER...

Well, my life's officially like a soap opera... only funnier :).

So I was reading my microwaved French bread-pizza when my mom comes and takes my emptied plate away to the sink. Then she balances it on her head whilst singing "See me stand so straight and tall, I won't let my basket fall, etc." Towards the end of the song, though, the plate falls and out of the pure irony of the whole thing, I'm rolling on the floor laughing my ass off, inhaling the pizza in my mouth and gasping for air. Then I notice dark liquid on the floor and realize that my mom has cut herself. The first thing she says is to get all the pets into her room and get her a towel.

So when the plate fell, it shattered against our tile floor... and a piece of it went a good inch into her foot, thankfully not hitting any arteries. It was my rightful duty to clean up all the blood and shards of plate and all that good stuff while she try and stop the bleeding. But there's a problem, whenever she tries to walk, blood erupts and goes all over our lovely carpet. Great. So then she calls my dad and he comes with bandaids and helps clean up her wound. We then proceed to take her to the emergency room. Only my mom and I could walk into a hospital laughing our asses off at the most ridiculous things...

So then I went to Best Buy with my dad and bought nothing, but stayed until 9:15. Then we went back to the hospital, watched Monday Night Football (I was rooting for Dallas... :( They were the underdog!), and waited until 10:45 for mother to be released. She ended up getting 2 stitches and some pills. THEN we went to the Silver Diner and ate with all the gays :). It was fun, actually. And I was hyper as anything and so was mom, so I ended up making her feel better :D. When I downed my whole Coke, my mom pointed out that I was going to start chattering my teeth, all cold and all. And so we both started doing it and, at the same time, said "fiva beans". Which, as you should know, is the most infamous Hannibal Lector line from Silence of the Lambs. So that made us laugh into hysteria. So the night ended up rather well...


I love that I blog only when something big happens :). Oh! And I get to miss 1st period tomorrow and can therefore sleep in an hour or so!

And also, I went to the dentist this morning and now my teeth are all sparkly and white :D. But my wisdom teeth are coming in... I'll most likely get them taken out next year for my mouth is too small... I bet you Horse Face (a la Julia Roberts)'s mouth is big enough for her wisdom teeth... I don't like her >:(. But the person who was cleaning my teeth was uncann-ily similar to Michelle from America's Next Top Model. Ugh, but she asked me if I liked any boys. I just rolled my eyes and mentioned all the guys that I DONT' like. Like Dr. McDreamy... which put us on a Grey's Anatomy tangent. She was cool... But sooo gay. But.. maybe not? I don't know :(.

Shit, I've written enough. Oh well.

Happy Birthday Elkiiiieeeeeeeeeeeee :D.

"I'd like to be a friend of yours, Mmmm and a little bit more"

... a song from my obviously lesbionic camp :D.

Anyways. So. It's been a little over 2 months since I last updated and since then, well, a bunch of shit has happened. Camp was sooo much fun. It's funny that I really only remember the good parts about it and not the not-so-good parts.

Fun times? Corrupting private school girls' minds, having time away from everything, getting emails from family every day, getting a tan, losing weight (10 pounds :D), holding the new record for most eaten chicken nuggets (15) and plates of lasagna, sitting on the Senior Dock when it rains and just thinkin', being in a tent when it storms, singing the Fanta song, having a kick-ass time at Hershey Park, flirting with guys at Watonka-donk, having an English-Scottish councelor, having HOT councelors :) (and "getting to know them" ;) ), and other stuff.

The bad parts? Not being able to get away from people, regular tent arguments, all the drama, ipod charger breaking down, being made fun of my souther-esque "accent" (a la, saying "y'all" and "pop" - which isn't even southern), swimming, being paranoid about ear-aches, banging into trunks, getting bruised, bitten, and scraped out of the hell of myself, getting reprimanded for cursing, not being allowed to crack my knuckles, being told my cat died whilst at camp, and other things that I can't think of at the moment.

Oh! And also, my dad and I have reconciled. He's now joined an AA Club and enrolled into an alcoholic program where he attends both of the different meetings 3-5 times a week. Over this past weekend, my great-grandmother died and Dad and I went up to Pittsburgh, PA to go to the funeral. Driving back, we listened to the Kelka and he's now hooked. It's weird to think of a father and daughter listening to Elka and KC talkin' about how they don't like penis and... risque things like that, together. Then Dad asked me if I knew what they were talking about and if I actually have ever seen a penis (like in porn and such). And of course I know about almost all things sexual! I have the internet to thank for that. And I have seen porn before... mainly from my guy-friends.

I've written too much... and worse, it's not even anything interesting. I promise, my next post is going to be awesome to the extreme... I just wanted to catch y'all up on things :).