Never Again Will I Drive on _____ Rd

This evening after getting a picked up from a football game to go home, my mom saw something on the road. Then we stopped. She said she thought she saw a dog. I'm thinking that there's a dog carcass off the side of the road that was being blocked by a car. This was not the case.

A man was yelling at a driver of a car to back up. I realize that there's a dog under the wheel. Seeing an arched and contorted figure of a dog in the "U" shape as it was being backed up upon, I immediately gawk open-mouthed at the spectacle. The dog whines and yelps until it is finally released from the car. It scurries about in a circle, never actually getting up. I then see that it's right leg isn't of any use and must be broken or something to that effect. It begins to lick it's leg. I jump out of the car while my mom tells me to find a towel. I come out of her trunk bearing her jacket. I quickly throw the jacket onto the dog after being told that it might bite me.

Seconds later, I'm down on the wet road, pants being soaked and probably exposing my butt (I didn't think of hitching up my jeans at the moment). It'd been raining steadily for the past few hours. The dog is now on it's side, in obvious pain and anguish. I try to do my best to read it's tags but to no avail; they were only rabies and vaccination tags. I comfort the dog and attempt to hold it down. I notice the edge of my mom's jacket turning red.

Some guy calls 911 during this entire ordeal while a woman wearing a badge says that we need to move the dog to the side of the road to prevent traffic. I'm angry at this woman for putting the needs of unhurt humans in front of a poor dog that is clearly injured. I step away where I then proceed to cry.

My mom and I get back into the car, I turn off the music that was playing inappropriately loudly. I spew out body-wrenching sobs.

Apparently there was another dog. i don't know if it's been found. The lady who hit the dog was crying at the steeringwheel, as my mother told me. I would be too.

I've never felt this sick.

Drama - Day 3

Here's a one-sided convo I had with MC. She probably wasn't even there, but since I don't want to have to re-tell the entire rant.

Shannon: Draaaaamaaaa
Shannon : This stupid girl!
Shannon : On the first day, I kinda told her I was gay because she obviously was
Shannon : but she was all "No, but for a year I was. Or at least I *thought* I was. Then I realized how much I hated girls."
Shannon : and I don't know why, but during dinner she was acting like a complete bitch because she was sitting 2 seats away from her "friends"
Shannon : I was telling the girl across the table how I thought one of the posters in the dining hall was Sarah Jessica Parker, but then a gay boy said who it really was
Shannon : and then I went on about how much I loved SatC
Shannon : And she was like "do I *really* have to listen to this?"
Shannon : and I just said "I can just leave, then."
Shannon : And she was all "Okay."
Shannon : Which is soooo ruude
Shannon : she even said to a couple of the girls surrounding her that they made her want to throw up
Shannon : and that our conversation was so boring and unexciting
Shannon : I only heard about the wanting to throw up part later when I left with 2 of the girls
Shannon : if I had heard her say that, I would've definitely called her out
Shannon : Because you just don't say something like that around people that you first meet and they can't tell if you're joking or not
Shannon : she just said it with such distaste, apparently
Shannon : And it sucks because her "friends" don't really, I think, like her all that much
Shannon : Especially the two ones, Haleigh and Michelle.
Shannon : I'm pretty bonded with Haleigh since we share the same common interests... and I want to get closer with Michelle, but goddamn Pink Hasbian is alllllways around her
Shannon : She's a fucking parasite!
Shannon : And she keeps on calling me out on my sexuality!
Shannon : like we were talking about marriage, as a group
Shannon : and I was like "Oh yeah, if he were straight, I'd totally marry him," all kidding and such
Shannon : And then she was like "Wait, that wouldn't work because you're-- nevermind."
Shannon : She does this when sooo many people are around
Shannon : She'll also like "I see your in love with that one guy." When she KNOWS that I'm not!
Shannon : What the hell?
Shannon : I just may confront her.
Shannon : and the entire time that me and the 2 girls were walking back to our dorms, we were talking about how bitchy she was.
Shannon : one of them wants to ask the one girl, Michelle, about it
Shannon : I just really want her to do something
Shannon : and for me to acknowledge it and say something like "Will you get off your high horse and grow the fuck up?"
Shannon : Because she really, truly, had no right to make unwanted snide remarks about everything and to complain in front of our faces about how we weren't entertaining her.
Shannon : Ugh!

I have stomach pains. And am sleepy. We have a dance/cupcake thing tonight. *SIGH!* At least Max will be there. He's a nice guy (and I'm NOT in love with him).

Day 2 of Smart Camp

here's some stuff that I've learned whilst being here
1) this is an all-girl dorm, which we found out when a guy who was hanging out with us was kicked out. He's pretty cool. I got his number :)

2) my idea of "professional attire" is not really correct

3) My RA group is pretty awesome... we're going to make such a great team.

4) I need to *always* have a camera on me

5) the dining hall (TDR) is sooo nice. You swipe your card and then you can get ANYthing... I know I'm probably not going to get my money's worth, because all I'm eating is fruits. The coffee's horrible though. The only caffeinated kind they have is Vanilla. Ech.

6) My roommate doesn't turn the light off until AFTER midnight, which sucks because I get up at 6 AM to get a shower

7) People have formed cliques. I'm in one of the more cooler ones. It seems like we're all sorta out casts back at home, but unite here.

8) This girl who lives a couple rooms down is so goddamn clingy that I simply just cannot get away from her. It's only the 2nd day. If things persist, I may have to bring the smackdown down on her. Yesterday I kinda came out to her, she said she was gay for a year.... which may have brought on this onslaught of clingyness. She's even randomly taken pictures of me. Oh! And then she MENTIONED her clingyness during breakfast today.... It's just oh-so annoying. People will be like "We'll meet you at 7:30." and she'll be at my door a-knockin', at 7:20 saying that "we should probably head out now". Also, last night, when we *cringe* brushed out teeth, she kept on saying all these things and then said something like "Oh, looks like I'm coming onto you" while another girl was in the bathroom. I kinda just grunted to acknowledge that I heard her. I've been doing it a lot recently. And she knows how I feel about her because whenever someone else is there that I'd RATHER talk to, I instantly perk up. I've kinda been giving her subtle hints, like talking on the phone when she's there because it's just so god damn awkward that I don't know what else to do.

It'd be different if she were hot. But she's unappealing. Now the girl that I *do* want to talk to.... that's a different story.

9) Dorms are freezing at night. And right now. And probably later.

10) I'm tired.

THE END

Back From Camp... ...But Not Too Thrilled

I'm still kinda sad about leaving Camp, though I left about... 6 days ago. The last night was sooo depressing. 4 of the LC's had to read their Wills, then lose their colours. I was crying a whole hell of a lot which I don't think is entirely justified. It's just that seeing girls (or really, anyone) cry makes me do the same. Then we pigged out (hence the name of the night: Pig Out Night). Because: At Oneka, if you're depressed, you EAT that 27th chicken nugget... you ENGULF that 9th taco, and DOWN that 3rd piece of Ice Cream Cake. But no one felt like eating that night.

I wrote a lot in my "journal" about my experiences from day to day. I was thinking about relaying them on here but I realized that I already don't update this blog enough as is, so doing that would just be a failed plan.

I also didn't want to update until I got my photos developed but that won't happen for 5 more days. So I totally *will* scan a bunch of pictures and put them on here :). I may or may not be in any of them (probably the latter).

I'm on the 222th page of Harry Potter. I'm not so into it, though. I'm more into online Ginny/Hermione Fanfics. I recommend Leather & Cigarettes and Unexpected by Zelz which can be found... here .

Also, I plan on making a Camp Oneka mix. Music that was either really popular, or was constantly played at Kitchen Crew, or I've never heard of until I went to camp.

I'm just happy that a lot of the girls have a facebook :).

Thank you E Archer for your aaaamaaazing mixes!

All You Need Is Love (and Toto, Dido, and Girls Aloud, AND Sex and the City!)

So most of the above does, in fact, equal love. Mainly the Sex and the City part :). I've been stocking up on music (without even listening to it first!) before I go off to camp. Last year, all I listened to were Kelkian podcasts; I had not prepared effectively music-wise. So randomly I started downloading Dido, Toto, and Girls Aloud. Why, one may ask? Because all three are super :). And I want to make sure that I won't burn out on songs half way through camp, so if you've recently made a mix, hit me up. I'd looove to download it.

My new fav. show is Sex and the City. For many, many reasons:

1) The woman who plays Charlotte is sooo hot. I don't care that she's old enough to be my mom. She's gorgeous.

2) The *character* Charlotte is my favourite of all of them. She's ultra conservative and is from Connecticut and is just so god awful adorable. Par example: http://youtube.com/watch?v=Z55FRp2OmI0

3) Every time I watch the show I fall more and more in love with Sarah Jessica Parker's character Carrie.

4) It has sex. Lots of sex. Granted, it's heterosexual sex. But it has more in one episode than The L Word has in a whole season (or at least, the last season).

5) Downloading the seasons from torrentspy is super speedy :)

There are tons more, but I'm too tired to think of more. I may be making a podcast with a group of people from another forum (called Gameinformer... like the magazine). If that happens, I'll definitely post it here.

Oh! And I'm off to camp on Tuesday. I'm just glad I know what clothes/things to bring.

Have a super-dee-duperty summer!

Catastrophies

I'm starting this new "project" which involves my cats. It'll be like a spy-sorta-movie thingy. My mom and I are going to record our voices AS our cats. I know. Sounds like we're crazy people (which is.. true). For instance:

Annie = Voice of Scarlett O'Hara
Spinner = Sean Connery-esque voice
Missy = High and Squeeky
McDreamy = High Mafia-like voice

It'll pretty much be the most awesome cat series ever.

This must make me the biggest lesbian ever :). But my mom and I have been talking about this since we got Dreamy (which was... a couple months ago?). Now that we have this super digital camera, it's all possible.

The point is: it's a short and sweet silly video... with cute kitties :).

And the song I used at the end of the video seems very appropriate. It's "Josie and the Pussycats" from the movie's soundtrack. Best teen-flick evAR.

My Personallity

Here's an inside to my personallity:

Girl #1: Ugh, I have to wear white shorts to my dance recital.
Girl #2: And you have your period! Make sure to bring a tampon.
Me: *in a tourret-like way* PANTY LINERS!
G1: Yeah, I usually get excited over things like that, too.
Me: Really?! Because I just love to go shopping --
G1: I was kidding.
*awkward pause*
Me: Which just makes it even funnier...

I try my hardest not to embarrass myself. But I do.

Anywho: We have this really nifty French Project, it's based loosely off of MTV Cribs. A person (partner) has to record the other partner guiding them about their house. I've decided to not work with a partner. I can't rely on people to get things done (no, I'm not a control freak). So... I'm doing it individually. My mom's really into it.

She's going to be video taping me doing everything (ie, "Voici! Le televesuer! J'adore Anatomy du Grey, Lost, Ugly Betty et Scrubs. TiVo est fantastique!). She'll be the "interviewer"... which involves her asking me questions and me editing them out and dubbing them in French once we're done recording.

We've already come up with all these ploys (things that we think are funny) of what we're going to do. Like, we'll introduce our Thousand Cats, and show the bunnies. I really just hope that I can translate everything into simple French (since I'm only in French II).

Alls we gotsta do is get one of those Camcorder-to-Computer wire things. Hopefully Best Buy has them; my mom's camcorder is a bit outdated.

If it turns out good, we'll deff. post it on YouTube (private video, only). Mainly so that my family can see it. Thank you awesome video editing program that came complimentary on my MacBook Pro :).

Have a great Thursday!

PS: Happy Feet = soooo cute, tear-jerker (I didn't cry-cry)

PPS: Am I going to go work out with the old people during Senior Cardio? Yes, yes I am. (But probably not. I'll just do the cardio circuit :) ).

PPPPSSSS: I also did another project, called So, You Think You Can Conquer? for History class. It's only the best (and origional) board game evvver created. Everyone loved it :). It's because you won tokens! And who doesn't like tokens? They were pretty and colourful.

I <3 Macs

Alright soo.... my mom had to call the cops on my dad, again. And apparently the next time he comes on our property, we can arrest him. Woo.

Onto more important things:

1) I'm not8kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiihyy9 (sorry, that's what my kitty typed :)).

2) I'm now typing from my freshly bought MacBook Pro :). It's The Best Thing. Evar.

3) I bought this laptop because I'll be doing this program thingy at a college campus this summer. And it's highly recommended that I have a laptop. And so now I do. The only problem that I have with it is that I seriously have NO idea how to transfer files from my desktop to my laptop without using an external hard drive or discs. If you know how, hit me up at thepima@hotmail.com , please and thank you :).

4) Spring Break is almost over. I couldn't be happier since I've had nothing to do this whole week. Plus, I've recently gone shopping and can't wait to use my new clothes (can you believe that it costs $105 - plus tax - for two shirts at Nordstrom?! Insanity!).

5) I'll also be doing this work out training thing at my local REC Center every Tuesday. At the end of the 5-week session, I'll be able to go to the training room all by my lonesome without adult supervision.

6) My new favourite bands? Modest Mouse and The Strokes, courtesy of Lauro. She always has the best taste in music...

So that's what's been going on down here :). Oh! Youth Pride Parade's coming soon (April 27th? 28th?) in DC and so is the Day of Silence (18th? 10th?). And I will be buying my mom an "I <3>

Speaking of (the gay-ness): I saw a bumper sticker entitled "Girls Kick Ass" with rainbow bordering on a car the other day. I got excited :).

Have a great week!

Calling Gloria!

Well, I'm not calling her. But this guy is: http://img89.imageshack.us/img89/3565/0302071847aig9.jpg .
See? She's answering. That's her spinning in her grave. Brrriiinggg!

Okie dokie. So the things that I'm interested in at the moment...

1) My new kitty :). His name is McDreamy and he's a Birman cat. Birman's look a lot like RagDolls, but um... aren't. But they do have this tradition where you name your Birman cat according to the letter of the year. For instance: this years letter is 'D', next will be 'E', and so on and so forth. Because of this naming system, you can tell how much older another Birman cat is. If one is named "Yo-Yo", you could tell that he's 6 years old. I thought it was interesting...
















He has my heart.

2) I am addicted to this game called Zuma. It's where you are in a center of this puzzle and you're a frog (only it's not like Frogger) and you spit these marbles at this moving chain of marbles in order to stop them from going down this drain. Or you can play it for free here: http://www.popcap.com/launchpage.php?theGame=zuma

3) I'm also addicted to this Pictionary game on the site isketch.org where you play with people from 'round the world. It's fun! I even won a game :).

I can't think of anything else at the moment. I know last night I was thinking of something that I wanted to say... but now I can't remember. Darn.

Oh! and 4) I loooove Laurie Notaro! She's this author who writes books about things that have happened in her life. She's my new hero. I always read her books aloud when I'm in the car with my mom. We get a real kick out of all the shit she has to deal with :).

5) America's Next Top Model is back! I think that this entire season is going to be a joke. It's a major faux pas. Why do they have to make all Russians look so moronic?! And why do they have to make the only interesting person look like she's stoned?! It's unfair. I demand a recount! Of what, I do not know.

Well, I've talked about too many unimporant, trivial things. It's what I do best.

- Shannon

PS: Romeo and Juliet is soo gosh-darn depressing. And I have to do this big project on it. AND memorize one of the monolouges. I can barely remember the last thing that I talked to my mom about!

Science Fair

So it's tomorrow. Nervous doesn't even begin to describe what I'm feeling. My project sucks. I'll never make it through (of course I will..). At least I'll be going to Olive Garden afterwards :). Mmmm breadsticks...

Also, my mom has sent in my application for my second year at Camp Oneka For Girls. I'll also be working on the KC aka Kitchen Crew. I'll get $500 off of my tuition, which will bring it to $2400 for 3 1/2 weeks. It should be cheaper considering we only live in tents with one lightbulb.
That's our tent. If you fell off of that bed on the edge, you would not be a happy camper.

And those are my blankies and sleeping bag on my stripped cot. I matched :). Oh, and my mom took this picture; hence all the blurriness of it.

That's my British/Scottish councelor hauling my trunk (I have NO idea how she did that -- she obviously has killer upper-body strength). And I'm in the background, carrying my bear that my mom sent me :).

Okay, that's enough of pictures. I'm hoping to have more when I go back because hopefully I'll have a digital camera by then.

Have a good day :).

Hint: Never Talk About Movies or Books That Involve Dogs Dying While On Your Period

... Which is exactly what I did 5 minutes ago. I don't know what came over me... I was talking about how in Where the Red Fern Grows, Old Dan dies protecting his owner from a mountain lion. Then Little Ann is all sulky without her big brother... and she's just so depressed. Then she goes missing. And they end up finding her dead on top of Old Dan's grave. And as I'm saying the next part, I'm choking on sobs because in the end, a red fern grows between the graves (which is a really rare flower). It was sooo depressing. I blame my nervous breakdown on the hormones. Then my mom made me go out and get my apple juice and that seemed to calm me down a bit. Then I talked about it some more and turned into more hysterical sobs. And now I'm here. Still tearing up. God damn dogs dying in movies. I now feel like re-reading No More Dead Dogs (a book in which the main character hates that dogs always die in movies/books).

I hate periods, dammit.

Movie Sunday!

So one of my friends told me about this true story where a man would go out, find a pretty girl, kill her, then have sex with her with his wife. ... Or something along those lines. Now, there's a movie about it. The trailer looks very promising - Donna from That 70's Show is even in it! And I just looove her. Plus, she has blonde hair (which she looks fabulous in). You can see the trailer by going to www.karlathemovie.net (NOT .com... it'll lead you to a porn site).

I'm also going to be seeing Running With Scissors tomorrow with my mom. I was watching The Advocate on Logo and they did a little story on it and it looks soooo funny. Evan Rachel Woods (Pretty Pursuasion, Thirteen, Once and Again, etc.) is in it so it'll definitely be a good film. And the main character's gay... AND Alec Baldwin is in it also -- he's just too great.

I may even watch Riding The Bus With My Sister tomorrow as well. Just because it's one of the most hilarious unintentional comedies out there. Rosie O'donnel plays a woman with a mental illness. 'Nuff said. I gave it a 9.99/10. It's THAT good. You can find it at you're local Hallmark store :D.

Have a great weekend :).

<> says the Turkey

Oooh lord -- this week has been nuts. But funnily enough, it does not include my dad :). So this past Turkey Day I ate a whole turkey roll, gained 4 pounds, then lost 6. It was loverly :D.

Mmm... yeah, that's all I got. So maybe the week hasn't been *that* nuts... I just like to think that it is :).

So there's these survey's that they have on all the myspaces that just give information about yourself. I decided to do one since all y'all know about me is my problems with my dad -- which isn't that interesting.

So here goes (and damn is it long):

~*The Basics*~
Your full name: Shannon Elena B
--What does it mean?: Old, wise river
Your birthday: June 1st
Height: 5'9"
Eye colour: Darkety-dark brown
--Do you like it?: Yes!
Natural hair colour: Light brown
--Do you like it?: Nah.. I've been using $5 hair dying products on it.. Just because I'm young enough to get away with it :)
Gender: Female
Religion: Eh...
--Have you ever changed religions?: Yep
--Would you consider it?: Of course.
Race: White
Heritage: Russian (I was born with Vodka in my blood)
--Do you like your heritage?: Mmhmm!
Where do you live?: Virginia
Have you ever moved cities or countries?: I've moved from Russia to the US
Your job: Don't have one
--Do you enjoy it?: N/A
~*Favorites*~
Movie: DEBS, Rat Race and soo many others
TV show: That 70's Show, The L Word, South o' Nowhere, Heroes, Grey's Anatomy, Ugly Betty
TV character: There's way too many to choose from
Movie character: Shit, I don't even know
Book: Angus, Thongs, and Full-Frontal Snogging, Keeping You a Secret, and all of Chuck Palahniuk's books (ie. Fight Club, Invisible Monster and Survivor), AND the Harry Potter series
Literary character: Shannon MacFarland of Invisible Monster and Hermione from Harry Potter :)
Author: Chuck Palahniuk, hands down
Band: Queen, Ok Go, The Beatles, Scissor Sisters, Trapt, KT Tunstall, ELO, and Damien Rice
Song: Probably Mr. Blue Sky by Electric Light Orchestra
Type of music: Rock
Instrument: Cello -- it makes the most beautiful sounds
Cereal: Special K
Fast food place: Taco Bell
Dessert: Any kind of fruit
Country: The US (I suppose..)
City: Pittsburgh
Place to travel: Pocono Mountains
Airline: Midwest (or something like that?)
Shampoo/conditioner: Pantene Pro-V (it is THE best!) and Lake water definently makes your hair softer
Lotion: Um... my favourite hanitizer is Purell..
Subject in school: Biology
Teacher: World History (aka Worst)
Province: Quebec?
State (if you're American): Pennsylvania
Football team: Steelers!
Hockey team: Penguins! (just cause they're so gosh-darn cute)
Athlete: Hines Ward
Sport to play: Soccer
Sport to watch: Football
Fruit: Apple
Vegetable: Steamed and buttered brocolli
Snack: Those pineapple cups
Meal: Turkey roll
Restaurant: Olive Garden (I looove their lasagna)
Grocery store: Safeway :D
~*Have You Ever*~
Gone on a blind date?: Nope
Flown in an airplane?: Yes
Thrown up on an airplane?: I sleep in planes.
Peed in the shower?: Erm...
Peed your pants after you hit double digits?: No..
Enjoyed Shakespeare?: Yes!
Been to the opera?: Fortunately, no
Been to the theatre?: A few times
Streaked?: Hah, no
Seen a streaker?: Yes
Been mooned?: Not lately
Mooned someone?: Never!
Flipped someone off?: Only while in a car
Been in a fist fight?: Mmhmm
Been drunk?: Not to my knowledgement
Had alcohol poisoning?: Nope
Been walked in on while you're naked?: Yes... It was a horrible experience
Slept in a snowbank?: Which kid hasn't?
Made a snow angel?: I was forced to by my aunt..
Lost any teeth?: Yes
Been in the hospital?: Yep, but not for MY health
Been in a major accident?: Not yet
Burnt yourself?: Just this past weekend :(
Passed out?: During karate
Watched a soap opera you didn't understand?: I never understand *any* of the soap operas... even the ones in English
Prank called 911?: Uh.. no..
Made fun of emos?: Teehee.. Its a fun thing to do :).
Acted like an emo, just to see what it's like?: Acted as in make fun of
Cheated on a test?: I've helped someone cheat
Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend?: Nope
Lied to get out of trouble?: Once or twice
Started a fire?: Yeah, but it was on logs
Roasted a marshmallow?: Ew, no.
Set a marshmallow on fire?: I've seen it done.
--How many times?: Many times.
Wanted to drop out of school?: I like school.
--Did you?:
~*Randoms*~
Are you single or dating?: Single
If single...do you like anyone?: Hm.. No one comes to mind.
--If so, who?:
--Why?:
--Do you have a chance with them?:
If taken...who?:
--How long?:
--Are you happy?:
Last 4 digits of your phone number: 0432
Your house number:
Why are you taking this survey?: Because I'm bored.
What school do you go to?: Hayfield Homo's Represent!
--Do you like it?: Yep
Your school colours?: Orange and White, I think... It changes a lot.
Your school teams' name?: Hawks
Ever been on a sports team?: Yep
--If yes, what was the name of it?: Hurricanes
--Did you enjoy it?: Noooooo
What do you want to be when you grow up?: A doctor
--Why?: Because I like what it entails
Any plans for the near future?: Getting a job in the summer and going to camp.
What are your views on capital punishment?: It should be harsher
--Nuclear weapons?: They should be destroyed
--Euthanasia?: Euthan-what?
--The Canadian government?: I don't even know..
--The American government?: It's being taken over by the Democrats!
--The European Union?:
--The UN?:
--Can you tell me who the Secretary-General of the UN is?: Nope
What was your favourite grade of elementary school?: 6th
--Why?: It was the easiest
What are you wearing right now?: Gnome PJ pants and a Juniata soccer shirt
--Any particular reason why?: I'm about to go to bed
What was the last thing you ate?: Oven-baked pizza
If you were a crayon, what colour would you be?: Purple
How are you feeling today?: Tired
How many keys are on your keychain?: 8 or so... I like collecting chains :)
--What are they for?: Mostly they're just suveniers
What does the room you're in look like?: It looks like a living room
--Do you like the room?: Yep, it's the central part of this house
Do you own an iPod?: Who doesn't?
--If yes, what kind?: 5th Gen 30 GB
Do you wear glasses or contacts?: Glasses
What's your view on laser eye surgery?: I can't wait to get it when I'm 18
--Would you ever consider it?: Yep.
Weirdest thing about your parents: My mom's obsessed with Lucille Ball
What did you do this weekend?: Eat and sleep
--Was it enjoyable?: Hell yes
What\'s your greatest fear?: Of losing my hearing
Your greatest strength?: I can pass tests with a good enough grade without studying
What country do you fear the most: Germany
Have you ever been in a third-world country?: Nope, and I don't plan on going to one
--Would you ever want to live in one?: of course not
What song do you have stuck in your head right now?: the Jhoon Rhee Might-for-Right song
Will poverty ever end?: Not in my lifetime
--Why or why not?: Because people can't get their own asses out of their heads
Will we destroy our own planet?: Nope
--How? Eventually, the earth will just spontaneously combust
Man--inherently good, or inherently evil?: Inherently stupid

Oy with the poodles already!

You know what I absolutely love about the new episode of South o' Nowhere (airing this Friday on the 17th)? It's that Spencer's mom is rather "perky" when she catches her daughter about to do the nasty with said daughter's girlfriend, and when she kicks the girlfriend out. Am I the only one to notice this? Teehee. I just can't believe it... I'm so worried for Spencer and Ashley :(. No doubt they're going to stay together, but Mother Superior is going to bring in a priest to exorcise Spencer's gay demons out of her!? Blasphemy!

Anyways. Yesterday sucked. If you look down to my posts around July, you'll notice I talk about my dad coming to our house drunk and whatnot. Well he did that again. Only sober. But it was very agressive and crazy. He wanted me to go up to Pennsylvania to be with his mom since she's going into surgery. He even told me she was dying. Fact is, she's not dying -- she'd doing fine. But he went all nutzoid and yelled at me to pack and get in the car. For the past few nights I've been staying at a friend's house since the tension with my dad was at it's brinking point.. and obviously now it's exceeded that.

So anywho, I got scared when he took my dog out of the house and pushed her into his car. No leash, no collar. I began crying. Then I locked myself in my mom's room and called my mom (she's recovering from surgery in Pittsburgh) and she told me to call 911. Which I did.

Inbetween calling my mom, crying hysterically, and waiting for the police, I later found out that Baily escaped. How the hell does that happen when she's supposed to be in a car? Let's factor this out: 1) Baily is a fat, 50 gallon barrel type of dog. 2) My dad's truck is high up off the ground. Taking all this in, you wouldn't think that Baily would be physcially able to jump off my dad's truck. This leads me to conclude that he took her out of the car and probably didn't even stop her from running away. From this alone I'm not talking for him for years. Finally, my friend's parents got to my house and the mom, ya know, hugged me and such. Then I realized that the back door was open, which made me cry even more because I thought that some of our 4 cats could've dissappeared. And that's all I need. My dog to be gone and my cats along with her. Couldn't be better.

So yeah, everything worked out. Though I remember the last time my dad did this I was crying and my mom and I agreed that that was the LAST time he would ever make me cry... and look what happens? Now I don't even care if he gets wasted every night because the only reason he wasn't doing that was because he had visitation rights with me and that was one of the things he couldn't do. Well now he'll probably have no visitation rights anymore so what's holding him back?

I really do hope he reads this one day and finds out what a bastard he really is.

"So... are you saying that I'm pretty?"

Oooooooooooooh my god. Gay boys are THE best dancers ever. Especially when they're dancing together ;). Okay, so... Where to begin? I just got back from a GLBT Dance that was held in my community and it was rather small, about 25 people showed up. I, being the social butterfly that I am, talked to most of the people there, but really just hung out with this one girl (who's straight, but has done curious *things* with other straight girls) who is totally out there. Meaning, she's into sex on a serious level. And she loves it. I've never met someone who's actually talked about their sex life, yet not *really* talk about it (in-depth). But I did learn a lot about her and she's just really awesome and nice. She's a lot like the girl that you know is a bit dangerous, but you just can't stray away from. Plus she's pretty cute... and taller than me! Who knew that was possible? Plus, she knows a girl from my school... which is uncanny, but not really :-/.

In any case, I have emailed Slo of the SloGreenX Podcast about using objects as sex toys and what to use. At one point Girl and I were talking about masturbation and she said that I could just go to Spencer's and that'd she'd buy me one :). Yessss! I have a source now! And! She has a pocket full of condoms, and showed me the difference between a Japanese condom (which is smaller) and a regular one. The results were way different. She's a sex educator apparently and does volunteer work for the NVAM (Northern Virginia Aids Ministry). I'm done talking about her... But on a final note, we exchanged numbers :D.

Oh! And so I got somehow complimented at this dance. A MTF (Male To Female), girl, and gay guy came up to me and told me that they had a friend who looked like me, only uglier, and that I look like her if she had plastic surgery... I know, confusing. But to me, hearing over the blaring music, it sounded like "You look like a man that doesn't have good features, but you do." Which didn't help. So I just blatantly asked, "So... are you saying that I'm pretty?" and they said yes. Then! The one girl was dancing and came up to me and was giving me a lap dance. I was just... stunned. She just said "I don't know what made me do that..." and went away. Mmhmm. Also, I think the Prez of the GSA likes me.. this guy kept pushing her towards me and such. Ugh.

But I just love the gays :). And the supporters. I really liked it when a mom came in and talked to this guy (who was dancing with this other guy all dirty-like. I don't know what's with two guys dancing. It's different from the generic boy-girl dirty-dancing. It's passionate.) about how her son just came out. It was sooo sweet.

Annnnnndddd! I learned how to dance to Cotton-Eyed Joe. I pirate that dances like an irishman, who knew?

I shall write more about this fabulous night some other time.

Just Got Back From The ER...

Well, my life's officially like a soap opera... only funnier :).

So I was reading my microwaved French bread-pizza when my mom comes and takes my emptied plate away to the sink. Then she balances it on her head whilst singing "See me stand so straight and tall, I won't let my basket fall, etc." Towards the end of the song, though, the plate falls and out of the pure irony of the whole thing, I'm rolling on the floor laughing my ass off, inhaling the pizza in my mouth and gasping for air. Then I notice dark liquid on the floor and realize that my mom has cut herself. The first thing she says is to get all the pets into her room and get her a towel.

So when the plate fell, it shattered against our tile floor... and a piece of it went a good inch into her foot, thankfully not hitting any arteries. It was my rightful duty to clean up all the blood and shards of plate and all that good stuff while she try and stop the bleeding. But there's a problem, whenever she tries to walk, blood erupts and goes all over our lovely carpet. Great. So then she calls my dad and he comes with bandaids and helps clean up her wound. We then proceed to take her to the emergency room. Only my mom and I could walk into a hospital laughing our asses off at the most ridiculous things...

So then I went to Best Buy with my dad and bought nothing, but stayed until 9:15. Then we went back to the hospital, watched Monday Night Football (I was rooting for Dallas... :( They were the underdog!), and waited until 10:45 for mother to be released. She ended up getting 2 stitches and some pills. THEN we went to the Silver Diner and ate with all the gays :). It was fun, actually. And I was hyper as anything and so was mom, so I ended up making her feel better :D. When I downed my whole Coke, my mom pointed out that I was going to start chattering my teeth, all cold and all. And so we both started doing it and, at the same time, said "fiva beans". Which, as you should know, is the most infamous Hannibal Lector line from Silence of the Lambs. So that made us laugh into hysteria. So the night ended up rather well...


I love that I blog only when something big happens :). Oh! And I get to miss 1st period tomorrow and can therefore sleep in an hour or so!

And also, I went to the dentist this morning and now my teeth are all sparkly and white :D. But my wisdom teeth are coming in... I'll most likely get them taken out next year for my mouth is too small... I bet you Horse Face (a la Julia Roberts)'s mouth is big enough for her wisdom teeth... I don't like her >:(. But the person who was cleaning my teeth was uncann-ily similar to Michelle from America's Next Top Model. Ugh, but she asked me if I liked any boys. I just rolled my eyes and mentioned all the guys that I DONT' like. Like Dr. McDreamy... which put us on a Grey's Anatomy tangent. She was cool... But sooo gay. But.. maybe not? I don't know :(.

Shit, I've written enough. Oh well.

Happy Birthday Elkiiiieeeeeeeeeeeee :D.

"I'd like to be a friend of yours, Mmmm and a little bit more"

... a song from my obviously lesbionic camp :D.

Anyways. So. It's been a little over 2 months since I last updated and since then, well, a bunch of shit has happened. Camp was sooo much fun. It's funny that I really only remember the good parts about it and not the not-so-good parts.

Fun times? Corrupting private school girls' minds, having time away from everything, getting emails from family every day, getting a tan, losing weight (10 pounds :D), holding the new record for most eaten chicken nuggets (15) and plates of lasagna, sitting on the Senior Dock when it rains and just thinkin', being in a tent when it storms, singing the Fanta song, having a kick-ass time at Hershey Park, flirting with guys at Watonka-donk, having an English-Scottish councelor, having HOT councelors :) (and "getting to know them" ;) ), and other stuff.

The bad parts? Not being able to get away from people, regular tent arguments, all the drama, ipod charger breaking down, being made fun of my souther-esque "accent" (a la, saying "y'all" and "pop" - which isn't even southern), swimming, being paranoid about ear-aches, banging into trunks, getting bruised, bitten, and scraped out of the hell of myself, getting reprimanded for cursing, not being allowed to crack my knuckles, being told my cat died whilst at camp, and other things that I can't think of at the moment.

Oh! And also, my dad and I have reconciled. He's now joined an AA Club and enrolled into an alcoholic program where he attends both of the different meetings 3-5 times a week. Over this past weekend, my great-grandmother died and Dad and I went up to Pittsburgh, PA to go to the funeral. Driving back, we listened to the Kelka and he's now hooked. It's weird to think of a father and daughter listening to Elka and KC talkin' about how they don't like penis and... risque things like that, together. Then Dad asked me if I knew what they were talking about and if I actually have ever seen a penis (like in porn and such). And of course I know about almost all things sexual! I have the internet to thank for that. And I have seen porn before... mainly from my guy-friends.

I've written too much... and worse, it's not even anything interesting. I promise, my next post is going to be awesome to the extreme... I just wanted to catch y'all up on things :).

Good bye :(.

Packing was a bitch. I have 1 trunk, 1 duffel bag, 1 suitcase, and a backpack full to the brim. I'm never traveling after this whole camp shindig... And I'm so nervous about camp, I can't even sleep. We're leaving in... 5 or so hours since I have to be at camp by a certain time. How lovely. I'm really going to miss my mom though. She's like a best friend to me. She's honestly the only friend that I have that I can confide in. I guess some people might think that's weird. I'm really going to miss her :(. But she says she'll write me a lot and update me on things. Anyways....

Au revoir!

Never Seeing The Old Man Ever Again? What? Pourqoui?

So lessee... Loads of bunches of shit happened today. I was forced by my lawyer and my mom to call up my dad and say "Hi, it's Shannon. I'm fine." and that would be fine. 1) I haven't talked to him for the past couple weeks, and wasn't looking forward to speaking to him 2) He would probably be pissed off, as always it seems and 3) I felt that I needed more time and space to think. I was instructed to wait till my mom got home to call him, and I did. The first call he didn't admit he had a drinking problem... he didn't say he was sorry for coming to our house blasted... and he didn't just overall assure me of anything. He basically just asked questions that I wasn't at all prepared to answer and really just put me in an awkward and uncomfortable position.

The first call was alright... but then he called back and heasked me if I wanted to see him any time soon... and I said "I would if you weren't drunk, since for the past weeks, I haven't had that experience." Then I said that I had to go and he hung up on me... Which led me to start crying because, honestly, I just want this all to go away. And it's way waaaay too much for a girl of my age, 14, to be dealing with this type of shit, and I don't think that anyone would disagree with me. Because he upset me so much, my mom has resolved that he's not going to have any visitation with me... So until I'm 18, I won't get to see him and at this point, I could give less than a shit. If anything, during that phone call he should've been really nice and comforting, but instead he just made me feel guilty and bad about all of this.

Off to Ze Poconos on Sunday since all the hotels are book for tomorrow night :(. I'll have loooooots of labeling to do!

Hello out there in blogger land, It's becoming to be a really stressful time for me at the moment. Not only have I had to endure yet another Happy-Go-Lucky Drunken Moment with my dad, but now he's taking my mother to court this Friday to change his visitation rights. Apparently, he wants set dates where he's guaranteed to see me. I, however, do not want to see him. At least, not until he gets some help, which I don't think he'll ultimately do. It looks like I'll inevitably be forced into seeing him on a weekly basis because the courts seem to always rule in favour of the bad guy. But! My mother has hired The Bulldog, who is this really big guy with a booming voice who's an ex-college football player. Yeah, he doesn't take shit. His name is Gary Davis which, to me, sounds very BullDog-esque. Though, when I first heard it, I thought of the Chelsea Handler Show with her pedophile of an Uncle who's name also happens to be Gary. Mmhmm, my mind is always on the run. This all reminds me that I must watch "Fabulous: The Story of Queer Cinema" as well as "Boys Don't Cry" and Kathy Griffin: Allegedly, of which I'll probably watch with my mother tomorrow.

Since I know yinz are all interested in my camping situation, I shall explain it in more detail! So far, we've gotten almost everything on the list except for red shorts (which are remarkably hard to find), laundry bag, and a few other things. We have gotten these really nice Jersey sheets which are soo comfy :). And looots of pajamas! I'm wearing one of them right now. I first thought there were cows scattered about it, but it turns out that it's just sheep. They still look like cows to me, though. My mom made me get these Gnome pj's, also... *le sigh*. She even said if she see's any lady bug pj's, she's going to buy them for me. I also bought this boy-cut type of underwear of which I've never worn before, but have heard that it's really comfortable, so we'll see what happens with that. I found this huge silver grey trunk that I'll lug everything up to the Pocono's Mountain with. Oh! If you know where the Pocono's Mountains are, being a good Samaritan and comment me any sort of help directions to get there from Harrisburg or Pittsburgh -- it would be extremely helpful :-).

Oh! I also found these really really comfy blankys that I shall take up to camp :). Since Pennsylvania is far away from the equator, it'll obviously get colder than it does here at night. Here being DC. It's really weird seeing a lot of tourists at George Washington's old house or at Thomas Jefferson's... I guess I just don't see my location as such a tourist-y spot. I'll save that topic for another time, though, since I think I've talked enough.

Just wanted to let the podcasters of the world to know that they should keep on keepin' on :-).

I'm back. Without the black :(.

So now I'm... how-you-say? a lot better, actually. I have to write a statement saying that I don't want to see or talk to my father until he goes into rehab or gets help. More power to me, I say. My mom says that you need to hit "bottom" until you realize that you want to get better and I think that's exactly where my dad is now. The restraining order was granted and is in effect for 2 weeks. The day after I go to camp (July 24th) will actually be the court date in which my mom will try for a 2 year restraining order. I doubt that's going to happen. Maybe a year at most.

Anyways, this whole week I have to go shopping for camp. Amazingly, I have to bring a *ton* of shit, and I don't know how I'm going to fit it all in :(. Just as well. I actually got my Camp Oneka care packet which has a lot of useful information. There's even a couple pages on homesickness. O' course, I won't have to worry about that since my mom will go all crazy and send me thousands of pictures of all of our animals, and my cousins. Great. On the bright side, you can have sooo much fun with my mom. She can make going to the grocery store an adventure. Maybe that's just her and my combination of humour and insanity :). Mixes well, I suppose. I'm going to end it there since I know I've written far too much.

Oh! And SOOO much apologies to my long-as-hell replies to the podcasts that I respond to! I don't mean to write so much but... I just get all excited and write feverntly and... blah! At least you get positive-ness outta me, right? :D.

Okay, I know no one reads this... which what makes having a blog so much fun :-). Who knows? Maybe I'll use it as evidence for something. Like on Monday when my mom and I go to the circuit court to put a restraining order on my ex-dad. Oooh, what fun! Anywho, I don't feel like ranting about my family life... I'd rather rant about my new Main Gay. Scratch that -- my *only* gay guy friend. It's embarrassing... Being lesbian, but not attract other gay people. I just attract straight ones! Intolerable. He's awesome though. He was showing me how to put this "potion" into my hair, and he did it in such a... such a... "Queer Eye for the Gay Girl"-esque way. It was fabulous. Speaking of the F-word, so was my hair. It's all curled at the bottom and layered... So nifty :-). So not me at the same time. Eh. In a week it'll look good.

I Am Obsessed With GSN! It's the best TV station evAR! There's always shows on that are entertaining. Like Lingo. Or Who Wants to be a Millionare?. Tres fab. And thank heavens Big Brother has started back up again.. My sanity may be slipping back, now. If only, if only.

So I'm going to this camp in two weeks. It's an "all girls" one, Christianity not included. Thank God. The last thing I need is to be converted. I just thought it interesting that my mother would allow me to even go to an all-girl camp. I mean... 8 girls in a tent... A lesbians dream! Only not this lesbian. I could care less about girls. Or boys. Maybe I'm asexual? Wouldn't that be something. Hunh.

My friends always joke with me that I'm a closeted straight girl. I'm afraid they actually may be right. Hard as I might, I just don't seem to be looking at girls as often as I maybe should be. I think I look more at boys, in fact. Oy. I'm mucho confused. Maybe I like the idea of being a lesbian and being with a girl... but I don't at the same time. Sometimes, I wish things were just a tad bit simpler. Hopefully I'll figure myself out at the camp.

Hum.. writing here is very much theraputic.. Okay. So... I'm in Pennsylvania right now, with family. It's all dandy and such. I just walked over a mile up and down the neighbourhood, and now my heels are bleeding. It's 'cause I didn't wear any tenners. Bleh! I like my lace-less converses :D. But they hurt my poor little feet oh-so much. Oy.

Well now my mom has called her lawyers and the Virginia Circuit Court, etc. to try and put an "emergency restraining order" on my dad. Do I want this? Do I want something else? Do I never ever wanna see my dad again? It's all so very confusing. I think my mother assumes that I automatically just hate my dad after all that he's done. And I suppose I have good enough reason to. I just don't want him to do something drastic. Like kill himself. Or kill someone else. Or get drunk and drive his truck off of a cliff. But whenever I mention this, my mom just gives me a weird look and says all these bad things about my dad that supposively justify what she's doing. Hell, she can do whatever she wants. Sometimes, I think he would've been easier had he died or something. It would've been easier.. But life's not meant to be easy, is it?

Okay, so I really was looking forward to keeping up a blog and such, but certain circumstances have made me... not be able to start one. To make it short and simple. Ex-Dad come's a-drunken and a-knocken on our door. Mom gets pissed, threatens to call the cops. Dad gets angry, calls the cops as well. Two cops come, they give dad one of those drunk-test-things. Cops make Dad give Mom his car keys, he's forced to go home. Mom and I go to Blockbuster. We get back. Dad is in the yard, spewing "give me my fucking keys". I get scared. Mom and I go inside the house, call cops. They come, do the drunken test again. Dad ends up being arrested. Mom and I flee to a hotel so we won't have to see him come back to get his truck.

Because of alllll that, I now have to go up to Pennsylvania in fear of him. *Ce sigh* I'm sure this'll build my character, or at least I'll learn a valuble message from all this. As of now -- life sucks. ... That's a bit over-dramatic... Oh well.

Just a testing post... a real one won't come out until later :).